His Saving Grace Read online

  

  His Saving Grace

  [Siren Publishing: The Lynn Hagen ManLove Collection: Erotic Romance, Contemporary, ManLove, Alternative, Paranormal, Werewolves, Romantic Suspense, MM, HEA]

  Noah has just survived a horrific event, and now he wants nothing more than to go home and bury himself under his covers. But his best friend won’t let him. Mikko drags Noah to the police station to file a report, and in walks Mr. Gorgeous. Detective Justin Grace. Calm when Noah is chaotic, patient when Noah wants to give up. Noah isn’t sure he’ll ever get his life back, but with Justin’s help, Noah just might get more than he bargained for.

  Justin knew he was in trouble the moment he laid eyes on Noah. The slim, dark-haired beauty who stole his breath. He slowly coaxes Noah out of his shell, showing him that life isn’t over. Until someone breaks into Noah’s apartment and trashes the place. Now it’s up to Justin to keep Noah safe while showing him that life is filled with more beauty than he ever imagined.

  Length: 30,000 words

  HIS SAVING GRACE

  Lynn Hagen

  

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK

  His Saving Grace

  Copyright © 2020 by Lynn Hagen

  ISBN: 978-1-64637-286-7

  First Publication: October 2020

  Cover design by Jess Buffett

  All art and logo copyright © 2020 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  If you find a Siren-BookStrand e-book or print book being sold or shared illegally, please let us know at [email protected]

  PUBLISHER

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Lynn Hagen loves writing about the somewhat flawed, but lovable. She also loves a hero who can see past all the rough edges to find the shining diamond of a beautiful heart.

  You can find her on any given day curled up with her laptop and a cup of hot java, letting the next set of characters tell their story.

  For all titles by Lynn Hagen, please visit

  www.bookstrand.com/lynn-hagen

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  HIS SAVING GRACE

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  HIS SAVING GRACE

  LYNN HAGEN

  Copyright © 2020

  Chapter One

  Noah stood in front of the dull and worn building, staring up at it as he contemplated turning around and running away. His body was layered in a fine sheen of sweat as his heart beat so fast that he could hear it thundering in his ears.

  “Come on, Noah. You can do this,” Mikko gently encouraged.

  “I’m not so sure I can, Mikko.” Noah blew out a loud breath, bracing himself for what he knew lay ahead. He wouldn’t be met with kindness or concern, or even the offered hand to help. The only thing he had coming was mockery, disdain, and a touch of disbelief. Noah knew this. There was no other outcome that could come from a situation like this.

  “I know, but you can’t let him get away with it. You can do this. I have faith in you,” Mikko said gently.

  Noah nodded, although he felt very little faith in himself as his foot took the first step in many. He inhaled a deep breath and walked up the steps, taking them one at a time, trying his best to get up enough nerve to actually go inside. When he finally reached the double doors, he squared his shoulders and then pushed through them.

  The precinct smelled of disinfectant and sweat. Noah’s fear spiked a few degrees as he looked around the place. This was not somewhere he wanted to be. He’d rather be any place on earth than standing in a police station.

  He spotted a long counter with a rotund officer sitting behind it, reading a newspaper. Noah heard the shrill sound of phones ringing and men laughing from somewhere close by. He watched the officer behind the counter reach for a cup Noah assumed had coffee in it. Everything seemed to be normal here. Life was going on whether Noah filed a report or not, whether his life was in shambles or not. It wasn’t fair. Everyone should be just as angry and afraid as he was. They shouldn’t be laughing and going on with their daily lives.

  Clearing his throat for attention, Noah watched as the officer laid his paper aside. His sharp brown eyes looked down at Noah who stood on the other side, his expression one of disinterest. “Can I help you?”

  God, he could not do this. Noah froze, his voice drying up as all thought fled from him. He opened his mouth to say why he was there and then closed it again. Could he say it? Could he tell the cop what had happened to him and survive the embarrassment he knew was coming? He had already been through enough. Noah didn’t need any more mockery.

  The cop sat forward, a keen interest in his eyes. Maybe he could see the discomfort in Noah’s expression or the way he was shifting from foot to foot. Right now, Noah didn’t care. He wanted out of there, and fast.

  “Are you all right, son?”

  “Noah! Say something,” Mikko hissed in Noah’s ear. “Don’t just stand here looking daft.”

  The cop’s gaze swung to Mikko before his attention went back to Noah.

  Swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat, Noah nodded. “I need to report—” He couldn’t get the words to dislodge from his throat. They were stuck behind the lump that was growing larger by the second. If Noah didn’t talk soon, he was going to suffocate.

  “Take your time, son.” The older officer’s face was filled with softer lines now. He looked at Noah more sympathetically. The man leaned forward, patience and compassion in his eyes. If only that look would stay there once Noah told the cop why he was there.

  “Come on, Noah. I know this is hard, but we can’t let that scumbag get away with what he did to you. I’m here for you. Go ahead, say it,” Mikko encouraged him.

  Noah nodded once again, closing his eyes briefly. He prayed that it had all been a nightmare, that when he opened his eyes, he would be in his basement apartment, cleaning or doing anything but standing in the middle of a police station.

  His lids slowly parted, revealing the plump officer staring at him. Noah sighed. It was a nightmare, only it was real. He swallowed a few times and then raised his head high. “I need to report a sexual assault.”

  The officer’s face stayed sympathetic. Noah wasn’t sure if it was because the man really sympathized with him or if his face was frozen in place. Noah’s breath hitched when the cop reached a hand across the counter to pat Noah on the shoulder. Noah quickly moved his body a safe distance away, and the cop let his hand fall away.

  “Was it your girlfriend? I can send an officer to her house to get a statement if it will make it easier for her.”

  Noah wanted to cry at the heartfelt look in the cop’s eyes. His heart was in his throat as he looked away, knowing the man’s attitude was about to change once he told him who needed to make a report. Noah didn’t want to do this, but
Mikko had insisted he report the crime. Why had he listened? Why was he standing here? Why wasn’t he running for the door?

  Shaking his head, Noah looked around to see who was within earshot. It was humiliating enough without having an audience to witness this. “It was me,” he said softly as he turned back toward the cop behind the counter.

  The cop looked shocked, and then a hint of disgust filled his eyes. He masked it quickly, but Noah had caught the expression. He knew this was a bad idea. “Your boyfriend get a little rough?” he asked.

  Noah wanted to argue, to grab the cop around his collar and shake him until he saw that this wasn’t to be taken lightly. But he knew he couldn’t do that. The only thing he could do would be to lick his wounds and get the hell out of there.

  “Don’t talk to him like that!” Mikko shouted.

  The cop gave Mikko an annoyed glare but said nothing about his outburst.

  “No, it was a stranger.” Noah was getting angry. Just because he was a male didn’t mean he couldn’t be forced. He wanted to run, run as far away from the judgmental leer the fat fucker was throwing at him. He knew this had been a horrendous mistake. Noah didn’t have to stand there and be judged. He didn’t.

  “Tell me what happened.” The cop shuffled some papers, his interest from earlier gone, the bored look back in his eyes.

  Noah’s gaze darted to the nametag resting on the cop’s chest. Officer Smiley. What a joke. There wasn’t a damn thing happy about this man. His name should have been Officer Prick. That would have suited him better.

  Knowing the man’s opinion on the crime that had happened to him, Noah decided there was no way in hell he was going to tell this bastard anything. He could tell by the man’s disposition that he thought Noah wasn’t a victim in this. That the investigation would be a mockery of what it would have been had he been a female—if there was any effort in an investigation at all.

  “I would rather talk to the officer who will be in charge of my case,” Noah said a little more sternly. He wasn’t the bravest man around, but he wasn’t a punk either. He wasn’t going to allow Officer Shithead to demean him any further than he had already been.

  Office Smiley stared at Noah for what seemed like forever, assessing him with his cold brown eyes. Finally he nodded, his jowls shaking slightly with the motion. Noah had an urge to reach out and slap at it, to see if the flabby neck would sway back and forth. He almost laughed…almost. It wouldn’t help the cop to take him seriously if he started laughing in the man’s face.

  “You two take a seat over there.” Officer Smiley pointed across the room to a set of hard plastic chairs. “I’ll call upstairs.”

  “Thank you.” It took everything in Noah to say those words when he really wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. That would not have been conducive to receiving help with his case. So, instead, he turned and walked over to the chairs, sitting down. They were cold, hard, and unfriendly.

  Just like the precinct and exactly like Smiley.

  “He had no right to treat you that way.” Mikko said as he balled his fists in his lap. “He shouldn’t have a badge acting the way he just did toward you.”

  “What did you expect?” Noah knew he would get the shitty treatment as soon as he said it was him that had been violated. Men didn’t get assaulted, and if they did, it was kept quiet. No man ever wanted to admit to being a victim of a sexual crime. Noah was feeling emasculated already over what had brought him here. Officer Smiley only robbed him further of his pride and manhood. Just because Noah was gay didn’t mean he slept with any man who shook a dick at him. No meant no.

  Ice-cold dread settled in Noah’s stomach when he thought about the cop he had to talk to about what had happened to him. He was going to have to endure more prejudice with the cop who would take his statement, if they even believed him. It amazed him how narrow- minded some people were in this day and age. No matter how much progress the gay community made, it still felt as though they were living back in the days when gayness was hidden well in the closet.

  As Noah thought about the embarrassment he was about to endure, panic began to slowly set in. He really, really couldn’t do this. Let the next guy report this type of crime. Let the next guy endure the humiliation.

  “Oh no you don’t. You aren’t running, Noah. Sit.”

  Noah hadn’t even realized he’d stood. His body was primed and ready for flight. The thought of the next guy reporting this sort of crime and the thought of there being a next guy period made Noah sit back down. No one should have to endure what he had gone through. If he could prevent any other man from going through this by getting that offender off the streets, he would subject himself to the humiliation. Noah felt remorse at thinking about letting the next guy handle this. That wasn’t him, and he felt terrible for having those thoughts.

  Maybe if the guy before Noah had been brave enough to come here, he wouldn’t be sitting in this unyielding seat now. His attacker and the one who’d attacked the last guy to walk through these doors might not be the same man, but Noah couldn’t help but think that. His mind wasn’t working properly since the attack, and he wasn’t sure it ever would again.

  He couldn’t blame the last guy, and he knew in his gut that he hadn’t been that attacker’s first. It took a great amount of courage to report a crime of this nature, not that Noah was brave, but he had to stop this from happening again. He had to stop the violence, if only by ridding the world of one more bad guy.

  “Are you the guy reporting the assault?”

  Noah’s head snapped up. A tall man in jeans and a red T-shirt was standing in front of him with a badge tucked in the belt. It showed proudly in the light of the precinct, making Noah feel safer but even more scared as he stared at the badge. Noah quickly looked around to see if anyone else was listening.

  The man hunkered down in front of Noah, his soft blues eyes making Noah’s breath hitch. “No one heard me.” The man smiled warmly at Noah, throwing him a lifeline. “I’m Detective Grace. You can call me Justin.”

  Noah nodded his greeting, hoping the detective didn’t want to shake hands. He didn’t want to be touched by anyone right now, but he didn’t want to be rude either by refusing to shake the man’s hand. At least this guy wasn’t sneering at him, making him feel like it was his fault he had gone through this. “Noah Randolph.”

  “Do you want to talk somewhere more private, Noah?”

  Noah nodded. Privacy was a good thing to him right now. He needed privacy if he was going to recount what had happened to him. He did not want an audience.

  “Please,” he whispered. He hated sounding so desperate, but his world had been turned upside down and beaten to hell. How was he supposed to act?

  “Come on. Follow me.” Justin stood, waiting for Noah to follow suit. The detective looked at Mikko. “I’d rather talk to him alone.”

  Mikko nodded. “Just don’t be a shithead to him, or I’ll shove your badge up your ass.”

  “Mikko!” Noah couldn’t believe his best friend had just said that.

  “It’s a stressful situation,” Justin said, as if that excused Mikko.

  “I’m not sitting here,” Mikko said. “Noah needs me.”

  “Okay, you can come,” Justin said.

  Noah slowly pushed from the hard plastic. His butt had gone numb, but he didn’t care. He wanted this over with yesterday.

  Justin led him to a small room down the hall from where he had been sitting. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “Water.” The sterile room had Noah feeling as though he was some kind of criminal. He knew it was crazy and tried to suppress those feelings but only succeeded in nearly tripping over his own feet.

  “Have a seat and I’ll go get it for you.” Justin pulled out a chair, offering it to Noah, and then left the room.

  “He seems nice,” Mikko stated.

  “He does. I hope he doesn’t look down his nose at me like that jerk cop did.” Noah fidgeted in his chair, this one having cr
acked vinyl covering it. The cushion had long since flattened, leaving a feeling of sitting on a hard board. The small pieces of plastic that were poking him weren’t comfortable.

  “Here you go.” Justin returned with a bottled water. “I had to rob the staff refrigerator for that, but you probably could use it more than its owner.”

  “You stole this?” Noah looked at Justin with shock.

  “Not really. It’s mine.” Justin smiled at him then took a seat. “Okay, Noah, why don’t we start from the beginning?” The detective set a pad in front of him, a pencil poised over it, ready to begin writing.

  Noah didn’t like the idea of his shame transforming onto paper. That made it real. That made the whole damn nightmare real. He began to tremble, feeling coldness creep along his skin before he mentally chastised himself for almost falling apart in front of the detective.

  He was a man. He couldn’t show how badly all of this had affected him. Facts, stay with nothing but facts.

  “Well, I was at a party a friend of mine was throwing.” Noah twisted the cap off of the bottle and took a long drink. His throat seemed to become dryer for every second he was there. “I set my drink down and went to the bathroom. When I came back, I picked it up and finished it off.” Noah’s eyes dropped to his lap, his fingers twisting the hem of his shirt. “I know you’re not supposed to leave your drink, but I figured I was at a friend’s house so it would be safe. A little while later I became dizzy so I went up to one of the rooms to lie down just for a moment. I didn’t think I had drank that much, but I couldn’t focus.”

  Noah took a deep breath and then continued. “I heard the door open and looked up, squinting my eyes to see who it was. I saw him… I thought maybe he was trying to find the bathroom and entered the room I was in by mistake. But when a nasty smile cut across his face, I knew something was wrong. I could hear the door lock, and then he climbed on the bed.” Noah’s voice hitched again. He cleared his throat at the threat of tears.